How Being Asian Affects Dating And What to Do About it

by The Asian Casanova on June 1, 2011

How Being Asian Affects Dating

Why do Asian men seem to have a hard time dating, especially other races? How many times have you seen a white guy dating an Asian girl? Now ask yourself, how many times have you seen an Asian guy dating a white girl? It’s pretty obvious which one is much rarer, isn’t it?

The main difference, which makes the biggest difference in the dating world, is that Asians are raised to be submissive. Asian guys are raised to conform, and not stand out. They’re raised to respect authority. And if we did not,how asian affects dating we would be punished harshly by our Asian parents. Remember, Asian parents still believe in beating their children! Now compound all that with already existing negative stereotypes of Asians, and you can see why Asian guys have a tough time succeeding with women of all races.

How many times have you overheard someone make fun of the ”small Asian penis” or try to imitate speaking “Chinese,” by going “Ching chong ching chong, lol” to you, even though you weren’t Chinese? I still hear these types of remarks from time to time. The penis comments are probably the most biting. In fact, the other day I crossed the path of a guy and a girl chit chatting, I overheard the guy say to the girl, “Why would any girl want to date an Asian, they have small penises.” Ouch, it’s time to see how being Asian affects dating.

In our idealistic political correct world, we’d like to think that we don’t stereotype. Even when we hold ourselves to higher standards, the reality is that we do stereotype. We do it every day and in many different ways that we don’t even realize. It is a reality of life. Sure, we as Asians get stereotyped as described above, but so do other ethnicities. Stereotypes exist on many different levels too, not just racial. Even we Asians stereotype other people; even we as individuals, regardless of race, stereotype other individuals.

When you see a bleached blond girl walking with a tight skirt and big fake tits, you might think “bimbo” or “slut,” maybe without even knowing it (I’ll tell you why this is a very bad mindset to have in a later post, especially when it comes to being good with women).

When you see a jacked meat head on steroids with a fake tan, unbuttoned shirt, and spiked hair, you may be temped to think, “douchbag.”

The  mere fact that you have these automatic, unconscious, reactions to these stereotypes means something. And that something is in the title of this post. Yes, there are stereotypes for Asians. Yes, there are more specific stereotypes for Asian men. They exist and CAN affect your dating. Strangely enough, it doesn’t mean stereotypes will affect your dating, but only that they have the POTENTIAL to, if you let them. Now it’s time to see how we can actually change Asian male stereotypes around and even use it to our advantage. But time for a blunt and brutal look at stereotypes that are prevailing in American society today…

You know you’re Asian when:

  • You have a small penis
  • You are a-sexual
  • You are submissive
  • You are quiet
  • You are smart/dorky/nerdy [which leads to...]
  • You are an engineer or computer science guy
  • You’re a virgin

Yeah, a painful list, I know. It is a very possible reality that the girl you meet or will meet, will have these preconceptions about you.

What to do about it

Now… let me tell you something very important…

None of it matters.

Because we will not behave or acknowledge the fact that they have these thoughts. You will be the exception to the rule the very moment that beautiful girl meets you. Listen, the stereotypes are out of your control. You must not let them affect you. Do not worry about something that you cannot change or control. You have 2 options, you either acknowledge these stereotypes and let them affect you and the people you meet, or you ignore these stereotypes as if they do not exist and the girls you meet will forget them too. This brings us to the most important points of this post…

How you feel about yourself affects how others will feel about you.

This will be one of the more important epiphanies you’ll discover on this blog and it will be a recurring theme which I will often refer back to. How you feel about yourself affects how others will feel about you. If you are scared, people will sense that without having to say a word to you. If you are shy, insecure, or have any self-doubts, people can instinctively sense these things. Here’s another important factoid, 93% of all communication is nonverbal. How you feel about yourself will seep through your skin like sweat. If you are insecure  about being an Asian man, STOP. You can’t change how society views you, but you can change how it affects you, and in effect, affects others.

But here’s the awesome thing…

When you forget about stereotypes or however your insecurities are manifested, so will the girls you interact with. Girls feel what you feel. They won’t feel, “Oh, he’s Asian.” The moment you walk up and talk to them, they will forget about all of that if you don’t show that it is something that affects you. You can even have a fob accent, it won’t matter. Attraction is universal. If you are an attractive man, you will be attractive PERIOD. It doesn’t matter what race you are, girls of all types will be attracted to you.

What does all this really mean? Ignore the fact that you are Asian. From here on out, you are a human being. You are a man. Don’t worry about things you cannot change. Focus your attention on developing attractive traits. There are Asian guys that have incredible success dating beautiful women of all races and it is possible for you to achieve this too.

But wait, how do you become attractive?! That, my friends, will take a whole separate post. Any ways, focus on what you can change, not what you can’t. More on that later!

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